The Tale of Heeronator and Hodini Elaine The Pain
by D45 and S27
Summary: When the G-boys (excluding Heero) are bored, and a psycho path is over...


  
Disclaimers- Don't own, want to buy, don't sue, no money, boo-hoo.  
  
Warnings- RELENA-BASHING!!! MAJOR OOC!!! (Trowa wouldn't talk as much, etc.) WOASR!!! (Written   
on a sugar rush!) More OOC! AU because obviously Melissa can not meet the Gundam  
Boys.  
  
Authors' Notes- We're gonna die cause Elaine is gonna kill us. Don't flame too much. Forgive   
any mistakes.   
  
  
  
D45 and S27's  
  
*THE TALE OF HEERONATOR AND HODINI ELAINE THE PAIN*  
  
  
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Duo- What? What'd I miss?   
  
Melissa- Nothing important.   
  
Duo-Then what?   
  
Melissa- Elaine thinks that Heero is cute, and Heero has the hots for Elaine!   
  
Duo- You're right. It is nothing. You wanna know what's big?   
  
Melissa- What?   
  
Duo- You're dogs are outta dog food!   
  
Melissa- OH NO!!! That is big! CAll 911! Call 911! Call my parents! Call my lawyer!   
Call my friends! Call the animal shelter! Call everybody!   
  
Duo- Right. Tell your dad to buy some more dog food tonight. Got it.   
  
Melissa- Thanks.  
  
Duo- This is a sad world. Elaine and Heero are ga-ga over each other. Relena's gonna be   
ticked. Trowa likes ALL of Quatre's sisters. Quatre is in love with Catherine, and Trowa   
knows it. And Wufat?  
  
Wufei- Wu-FEI! Wu-FEI!!!  
  
Melissa- Yeah! We know! It's Wufat!   
  
Duo- Wufat hits on every single babe out there.  
  
Melissa- You're right. The world is sad! NOTHING GOOD IS ON SUNDAYS!!!  
  
Duo- There's wrestling. I think.  
  
Wufei- Why is everybody holding that babe statement against me?  
  
Trowa- Future reference.  
  
Quatre- You like my sisters?  
  
Trowa- You like MY sister?  
  
Catherine- What's wrong with that? *Leaves*  
  
Duo- Yeah? What's wrong with that?  
  
Melissa- Why is it that you guys ALWAYS manage to pop up in my letters to people?  
  
Wufei- We have that ability.  
  
Duo- And you sir. Like BABES!  
  
Melissa- This is getting boring. Let's write a story!!!!  
  
Quatre- Like what?  
  
D+M- A story between Elaine and Heero!!!!  
  
Trowa- Figures.  
  
Melissa- It could be a 'RFO'! I love those!  
  
Duo- Only because Relena gets bashed! Then I become GAY! Ever think of it that way? Hmm?  
  
Melissa- No. So? I wouldn't really care...it's just a fic.  
  
Duo- That people read all over the nation!  
  
Melissa- But it's fun!!!!   
  
Quatre- You guys! We shouldn't be fighting at ALL!!!  
  
Duo- And what's that suppose to mean?  
  
Melissa- I'll start it! Once upon a time in a closet far, far, away lived a dude named...  
Heeronator. He had fallen in love with a-  
  
Duo- FROG!  
  
Melissa- Frog. The frog was-  
  
Quatre- Pink, purple, blue, green, yellow, barf green, asparagus, more green, black and white  
with green poka dots!  
  
Melissa- Okay. What Quatre said. The multi-color frog loved to-  
  
Wufei- Pick up babes!  
  
Melissa- NO! THE FROG'S A GIRL!  
  
Wufei- Fine. Pick up trash.  
  
Melissa- Okay pick up trash. Her name was-  
  
Trowa- Hodini.  
  
Melissa- I was aimmin' for Ostioporosis Catalog, but that's fine. Her name was Hodini Elaine.   
They called her that because-  
  
Trowa- She could walk on water...in the dead sea...on a surf board.  
  
Melissa- Okay by me. Hodini Elaine decided that it was about time that she went to the closet   
where-  
  
Duo- Heeronator-  
  
Trowa- Tight-walked.  
  
Melissa- Fine...there had been a war a-  
  
Quatre- Few seconds ago.  
  
Melissa- And the winner was-  
  
Duo- SHINIGAMI!  
  
Melissa- And Heeronator happened to be Shinigami's friend. They-  
  
Wufei- Picked up babes together!  
  
Melissa- Until one day Heeronator got-  
  
Quatre- A zit!  
  
Trowa- On his foot.  
  
Melissa- He wasn't vain.  
  
Duo- He was crazy.  
  
Melissa- He stayed in-  
  
Duo- A stinky shoe-  
  
Trowa- In the closet.  
  
Melissa- Do to the-  
  
Wufei- Babe! I mean zit. It-  
  
Quatre- was tiny-  
  
Melissa- What was the point of that?  
  
Duo- Nothing.  
  
Melissa- Heeronator saw-  
  
Duo- Elaine The Pain!  
  
Trowa- That's not her name.  
  
Duo- So?  
  
Melissa- Okay! Heeronator saw Hodini Elaine The Pain, and-  
  
Duo- RAN OVER HER WITH A SHOPPING CART!!!  
  
Trowa- Do you honestly think that there's a shopping cart in there?  
  
Duo- Yeah.  
  
Trowa- You're right.  
  
Melissa- No Duo. Heeronator accidentally bumped into her on purpose. And-   
  
Quatre- Hodini Elaine The Pain got really mad.  
  
Melissa- But then realized that-  
  
Duo- It was Heeronator the b*st*rd!  
  
Melissa- And she fell in-  
  
Quatre- A pit.  
  
Melissa- That happened to be the LOVE pit.  
  
Trowa- They fell in love got married. Got devorced, got back together, got devorced, got back   
together, and had-  
  
Duo- KI-  
  
Melissa- Duo! I think it would take a longer time then that! I mean, what the heck?  
  
Duo- Ri~ght...  
  
Melissa- Heeronator and Hodini Elaine The Pain told each other their life story, but   
Heeronator-  
  
Trowa- Left out the part about-   
  
Duo- Releny The Weeny!  
  
Melissa- MAN! You and Trowa are just havin' SO much fun!!!  
  
Duo- And don't we know it! *Gives Trowa a high 5*  
  
Melissa- Releny The Weeny loved Heeronator, but Heeronator rejected her-  
  
Quatre- So many times that SHE got-  
  
Wufei- A babe! I mean zit!  
  
Melissa- But Releny The Weeny didn't know about the 2 until-  
  
Wufei- She went to the babe! I mean she went to the grocery store to-  
  
Quatre- Fetch a bucket of water.  
  
Duo- Releny The Weeny fell down-  
  
Trowa- And broke her crown and-  
  
Wufei- Everybody saw the babe's underwear!  
  
Melissa- Ri~ght. Anyways. After everybody saw her underwear-  
  
Duo- Shinigami kicked her butt!!!  
  
Melissa- Like wise. Then Heeronator wanted to know what happened because-  
  
Quatre- His wife-  
  
Duo- Saw-  
  
Wufei- The babe's underwear!  
  
Melissa- Heeronator saw-  
  
Wufei- The babe-  
  
Trowa- And her underwear-  
  
Duo- Then relized that it was Releny The Weeny and-  
  
Melissa- Who's writing this down?  
  
T+Q+D+W- We are!  
  
Melissa- Okay...so am I...Then Releny The Weeny got up, and saw Heeronator. She-  
  
Trowa- Yelled-  
  
Wufei- Babe! I mean-  
  
Quatre- Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeronaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaator! Here I am! Come back and-  
  
Trowa- Kill me, and-  
  
Duo- Shinigami said 'Okay!', and pushed her!  
  
Wufei- And everybody saw the babe's underwear again!  
  
Melissa- Releny The Weeny got up again and-  
  
Quatre- Saw Heeronator and Hodini Elaine The Pain-  
  
Duo- Kissing!  
  
Melissa- And Releny The Weeny got-  
  
Quatre- Another zit!  
  
Melissa- She ran over to Heeronator and-  
  
Quater- KISSED HIM!!!  
  
Melissa- This lead to jealousy in his-  
  
Wufei- BABE! I mean wife-  
  
Duo- So she took a carrot, and shoved it down-  
  
Wufei- The babe's underwear!  
  
Melissa- What is with you and babes???  
  
Wufei- Nothing! I just wanted to make conversation!  
  
Melissa- Anyways! So Releny The Weeny got mad! And they had a-  
  
Duo- FOOD FIGHT!!!  
  
Melissa- Then everybody got involved! And-  
  
Trowa- At the end Hodini Elaine The Pain and Releny The Weeny were still fighting over-  
  
Duo- Old Mac Donald!  
  
Melissa- Heeronator wasn't all that happy to see-  
  
Quatre- Releny The Weeny so he-  
  
Melissa- Took out a semi-automatic machine gun, and told-  
  
Trowa- Hodini Elaine The Pain to move outta the way, and-  
  
Duo- Go let him lounge in her lingerie!!!!  
  
Melissa- Hodini Elaine The Pain disagreed with her soul-mate and-  
  
Trowa- They got devorced-  
  
Quatre- Then got back together!  
  
Duo- Then Devorced!  
  
Wufei- Then back together!  
  
Melissa- DEVORCED!!!  
  
Q+W- BACK TOGETHER!!!!  
  
T+D+M- DEVORCED!!!!  
  
Q+W- DEVORCED!!!!  
  
T+D+M- THAT'S RIGHT! DEVORCED!!!!!  
  
Quatre- Then back together.  
  
Melissa- Then Hodini Elaine The Pain went to finish her battle with-  
  
Wufei- The babe!  
  
Melissa- Releny The Weeny was positive that she could not lose because she was convinced that   
Heeronator LOVED her!  
  
Trowa- Until she saw Hodini Elaine The Pain kissing-  
  
Duo- Heeronator-!  
  
Quatre- Underneath the misltoe-  
  
Duo- Last night-  
  
Trowa- We saw Heeronator-  
  
Wufei- Kissing a babe last night!  
  
Melissa- Uh...whatever. Anyways...Releny The Weeny was so heart broken that she-  
  
Duo- Called upon the powers of Shinigami!  
  
Trowa- But Shinigami got lost, in the misltoe-  
  
Melissa- On his way to help Releny The Weeny so she called-  
  
Quatre- A professional clown!  
  
Trowa- Thanks Quatre.  
  
Wufei- But he was too busy pickin' up babes so he-  
  
Duo- Called upon the Shenlong-Wufat-Babe-Nataku Lover!  
  
Melissa- But he was busy reading a book called-  
  
Duo- How to pick up babes!  
  
Wufei- So Releny The Weeny called Treizey Wastzy and-  
  
Melissa- Releny The Weeny forgot all about Heeronator, and went with Treizy Wastzy however-  
  
Duo- Before that Hodini Elaine The Pain kicked her butt!!!  
  
Wufei- Again? *Quatre nods*  
  
Trowa- Then ran off with Heeronator to the-  
  
Melissa- Bahamas! Where they lived happily ever after until Releny The Weeny-  
  
Duo- Found them again! She was-  
  
Quatre- ZIT FULL!!!  
  
Trowa- She thought that the cause of that was because-  
  
Wufei- Babes rejected her!  
  
Melissa- Wufei? Releny The Weeny is a girl.  
  
Duo- Anyways...Umm...Heeronator was sick and-  
  
Quatre- NON-ZIT FULL!!!  
  
Trowa- Of Releny The Weeny so-  
  
Melissa- He pulled out his semi-automatic machine gun and-  
  
Wufei- And picked up the babe-  
  
Melissa- Wufei's losing his memory again! Someone give him some more medicine! Forget the   
medicine! Trowa? *Trowa nods, and punches Wufei causing a black out* Much better.  
  
Trowa- And Heeronator shot Releny The Weeny many times-  
  
Duo- But did not die because-  
  
Quatre- Her zits saved her!  
  
Melissa- Heeronator shot until he was outta bullets and-  
  
Duo- Decided to do it MANULLY!!!!  
  
Trowa- Heeronator took a-  
  
Quatre- Bottle of zit remover then-  
  
Melissa- Drank it! Then he got high on it, and passed out. After that Hodini Elaine The Pain got   
really mad and-  
  
Duo- Cut Releny The Weeny in half with a SCYTHE!  
  
Trowa- She died.  
  
Quatre- When the zit remover wore off-  
  
Duo- Heeronator NEVER had a zit for the rest of his life!  
  
Melissa- That made Hodini Elaine The Pain very happy.  
  
Trowa- Until Releny The Weeny was recurrected by-  
  
Quatre- The zit builder!  
  
Wufei- ZZZZZzzzzzandBatmanZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZ.....  
  
Melissa- After her recurrection-  
  
Duo- She sowed herself back together...The scythe thing?  
  
Trowa- And went after Treizey Wastzy then-  
  
Quatre- They made a kingdom of Zit builder!  
  
Melissa- The end.  
  
Elaine- Hey! What'cha doin'?  
  
Melissa- Uh...NOTHING!!! *Everybody hides there paper that they were writing the story on*   
Nothing at all!!! Why do you ask Hodini Elaine The Pain? I mean Enchi?  
  
Heero- *Raises eyebrow* Hodini Elaine The Pain?  
  
Melissa- What? What are you talking about? I didn't say that!  
  
Duo- Yeah! She said 'Martini's brain is lame'!   
  
Trowa- What are you doing here? Aren't you two suppose to be fighting Releny The Weeny? I mean   
OZ?  
  
Heero- We stopped fighting OZ last year.  
  
Elaine- Okay. What are you guys up to?  
  
Duo- Did Trowa say OZ? NAH! He said POGS!   
  
Quatre- Yeah! Weren't you fighting over POGS?  
  
Elaine- I don't have POGS.  
  
Heero- What are POGS?  
  
Melissa- Uh...we...gotta...go! Yeah! Umm-  
  
Duo- Gotta go get some more dog food! We're out! Can't let the dogs starve! Tootles! *Everybody   
runs...except for Wufei*  
  
Heero- Wufei? What's goin' on?  
  
Wufei- ZZZZZzzzzznothingZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZ.....  
  
Elaine- Hey! Look at these papers! *Picks up page 1, and reads* Once upon a time in a closet   
far, far, away lived a dude named Heeronator...Okay...  
  
Heero- Heeronator?  
  
Elaine- *Shrugs* Who fell in love with a frog. The frog was pink, purple, blue, green, yellow,   
barf green, asparagus, more green, black and white with green pokadots. The multi-color frog   
loved to pick up trash. Her name was Hodini Elaine???!!!! UGH!!!! I'M GONNA KILL THEM ALL!!!!  
  
Heero- Maybe you should read the rest of the story. *Skims through the rest of the story* UGH!   
OMAE O KOROSU!!!!!  
  
*From the broom closet*  
  
Duo- OW!!! Why do we have to hide here?  
  
Melissa- I dunno! Ask Trowa!  
  
Quatre- Trowa?  
  
Trowa- Someone, get off my me!   
  
Quatre- Shh!! I heard something!  
  
Trowa- That was me.  
  
Heero- *Opens the closet* What are you doing in there???!!!  
  
Duo- Uh...Looking for Heeronator?  
  
*The End...Or is it?*  
  
Heero- Only for the authors of this story! OMAE O KOROSU!!!!  
  
D45- Don't cha think we need a chance to explain?  
  
Duo- Yeah? I mean Elaine DOES think that you're cute!  
  
Elaine- SHUT UP!!! *Turns red* Why do I have to be a frog?!  
  
S27- Why do people die?   
  
Heero- Because.  
  
Duo- Exactly! Now if you would kindly let me go we'll be on our way!  
  
Quatre- You guys! Shouldn't be fighting at all!!!  
  
Trowa- Curse Wufei. CATHERINE! You just got a new target practice!  
  
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Authors' Notes- Hope you liked it. The Wufei obsessing with babe thing, it's an inside joke. So,   
whatever. Okay...SUGGESTIONS WANTED!!! That's all...dude-(Wufei- BABES!!!)s!   
R&R!!! Oh, yeah, Yaoi skimmer-throughers, not Yaoi writers. JAA~!!! 


End file.
